BVGRONTI Celebrates One year of truth seeking by reviewing read dead redemption

It’s our anniversary sweetie. Don’t tell me you forgot? Well no oral coitus for you tonight then, you’ll have to read a blog post instead. That’s right BVGRONTI is now a year old. In that time we’ve taken the establishment to task and quite literally redefined objective journalism. Up is down and those that were first are now last. I could go on like this for some time in a self congratulatory manor tooting successes of the platform; like when we managed to shut down Ea by reviewing half life 2 or that time we and bruce willis flew a rocket ship to stop a meteorite impact.

Facile fantasies aside i thought it’d talk about some video games. The best videogame! The best video game to review on the internet. A game i, surprisingly, like.

Out on the open prairies a man and his mount can do great and terrible things. Well in reality you can herd cattle and catch Pellagra but lets not let such things weigh on our consideration. Brigands and bandits, outlaws and marauders, vagabonds and blackhats, desperadoes and ermm... outlaws. The old west was a cornucopia of NPC baddies that would charge fearlessly at expert time stopping gunmen that took perfect shots from atop galloping horses. History is wonderful.

Red dead redemption captures this feeling while integrating other unrealistic elements like depictions of rural frontier lifestyles, the conflict that arose from industrialisation and games of poker. I might be a bit of a stretch to say, and you’re welcome to call me an over analysing pretentious English teacher for suggesting it but i think, and it must stress that this is just my opinion, but i think the game might be borrowing the aesthetic and style of Sergio Leone in it’s own tribute to the spaghetti western genre that shows narrative and structural understanding of both the genre it’s depicting and the real events it references, the problems and anxieties displayed therein. Nah, you’re right probably just a brain fart on my part.

The main dude, who you play as (shocker), is a family man and farmer until one day ‘the man’ (not him) shows up to remind him he used to be a bad boy outlaw able to shoot the stubble from a man’s cheek at fifty paces and twang. Oh, that and your ol’ buds be causing a ruckus down on the prairie and they need a bit of midwestern hospitality to help them get acquainted with feeling of 9mm of a lead passing through their cerebellum.

Right so why is this game good then? I hear myself ask, reminding me to deliver on promised of the premise during the firsts half of the second section of the text; which with this overly meta segway has declared begun. Horse, i mean Horses! Or as cowboy’s called them de’m Ol’horsey thangies. Rich georgian accents aside the horseplay (horse-gameplay) in red dead really takes the peach, which is another was of saying ass, but not ass as in bad but as in a donkey, therein meaning reliable and trustworthy… the horseplay takes place upon a peachy ass.

Do the gameplay and graphic still hold up after eight year? First off its ‘does the gameplay’ and second how would i know? I’ve not played it in years, i’ve just idealised it in my head from a time where the way i experience things is very different to the way i feel now, and old games carry with them a sheen of my former self i feel entirely uncritical off. That and the xbox is currently held by my brother. Oh right, i can complain about that… not my brother, the game.

A surprisingly on topic notion right? Anyway i’m kind of ruining the fact i was sticking the point by, you know, not doing that. Yeah, i’ve wanted to play the game again and been unable to do so because i can’t be bothered to borrow the old eggs bogs. A port to the PC would have allowed be to expend capital to get around having to talk to people i’m related to - the entire point of currency in the first place, but No, rockstar games ever present in their omniscience held out on me, and so i will do the same, my undying rage with be the last star left winkling in the nights sky long after all others have succumb to entropy. As the strong force breaks down and matter begins its cold journey to a perfect timeless equilibrium, my rage will live on as a spark, radiant in the cosmic emptiness… I just called; he said maybe later.

The game is far from perfect, there are no assless chaps unless you count the lack off thick boi’s in the old west. You can tie people up with a lasso but this never compels them to tell the truth, this might be due to john marson not being of amazonian descent. I have written to the studio about this but still no word, guess that makes it a theory a theory theory, thanks for…

It is worth asking a question or two, what appeal do we find in the harsh and bitter life of the old west, what compels people to live in such in inhospitable climates or better yet what pushes people to live there in the first place. Well i can’t be bothered to google it, so i guess we’ll never know for sure but what i do know it that i’d rate this game: being just a comedic device to avoid firm commitments to a scoring system i’m not interested in, out of 10.

What insights can be gleamed about Esports after thinking about it during a early afternoon shower.

Capricious energy finds its way to my fingertips this morning. The juvenile thoughts of a grandeur fuel their relentless beat. A furied exchange of ideas took place last night which has frothed the tide of my mind to a swirl of flotsam and jetsam, that is to say: just a bunch of trash bobbing about in the water. This can only mean one thing! Another blog post will soon be born.

Recently a furry won the Dragon ball fighter Z tournament. Much in keeping the lore of the series where the president of the world is a actual dog, a notion only slightly less fantastical than our reality wherein ...(insert one of the hundred jokes about him you’ve all heard before, ect ect, roll on snare drum) The current state of fighter z and the social activities of it’s winner are beyond my interest for the moment, given the game currently costs more than a tenner and isn’t about ten years old; however what is now more than ten years old and only costs one's self respect is the wonderful world of Esports.

I do not watch Esports. Real gamers, like myself, listen to Beethoven while breaking into people's homes and drinking milk. This is normally not a problem except for the victims of my 60’s esq violent crusades of random sadism. That was a lie, no not the esports bit, the truth is i’ve never read a clockwork orange, let alone taken inspiration from it commit vile acts, which is less than i can say for skullgirls.

I think we got off topic there, which was for the best perhaps, you see in my disinterest i have come to form a view on the subject. Most of the debate if centred around the question of they could as real sports of not? I couldn't care less but i’m pretty they’re both equally worthwhile of disregard. No! That's hardly a interesting perspective. Blah blah i am talking about a thing i vaguely disprove of in a critical light, gosh i should write for the guardian's opinion column. Mind you even i would struggle to stay that inane. I’ll have a shower and think this through.

Here’s a novel concept for you, being overly invested something in something is bad. I can think of a couple examples off the top my head. Religion, The show friends, politics, stock markets and that new spice girls reunion.

Now for a seemingly unplanned detour. Sports professionals often inspire their fans to play the game for themselves. This is a useful because physically moving one's body is effort and hence something to be avoided if at all possible. Hence the players would otherwise not be doing so. When it comes to esports, however, the people who follow the competitive scene almost invariably play the game already, yet the professional player still inspire them to a greater or less extent. Here comes the gut punch, this wasn’t a tangent. With no barrier, like: having to put clothes on, not be a furry, or experiencing the harsh and unforgiving climate of a spring afternoon the #inspired gamer no external means for escalation.

Yet if they already play the game they still feel the need for an escalation. Some will buy a skin and call it a day while others will try harder. In so doing they will become a scourge on the gaming world. Tryhards! Sure those walking talking dick heads exist in everyday life too and are still best avoided but they also tend not to be the kind of backwards scum that plays video games then writes about it on the internet.

In games our agency is limited by incontrovertible rules, more so than in life, when it comes to the range of responses we can illicit albeit with lighter consequences. So when we try harder we run up against this hard limit which can only be overcome with skil, time or Random number generation. If that sounds frustrating you’ve been paying attention. Fortunately people online deal with frustration in a very mature and constructive manor, taking the time to talk to friends and family about what's bothering them while addressing the problems both internal and external with a considered and measured approach, hence there is no problem, none at all, so few problems in fact anyone who could in any way direct criticism towards games should be told to “krull demsurfs”

I mean this is all just probably, but apply chance to a large enough sample and you start to be able to put some power behind your predictions. I don’t know if you’ll have sex when the power cuts -actually that's not true because i’m pretty sure no one reading this has the option of coitus but you get my point...

Q: Aren’t you just using stereotypes and overly simplified psychology and a total absence of any data to draw a tenuous connection between two aspects of the culture while undermining yourself along the way.

A: couldn’t have put it better myself; but like i said, i should write for the guardian.

Q: don’t you think not bothering to explore other options is misleading, i mean to pin toxicity on such a simple mechanism is reductionist at best?

A: The readership are pretty easily manipulated and care more for a narrative than an objective presentation of facts around a certain thesis. The more i can play into one groups bias while inflaming the other more social capital i can gain.

Q: so who’s side are you on here?

A: Cloud9 Sneaky's cosplays 

Taking the Big shots to task! Reviewing the reviewers. An end to elitist smug?

Seldom is the day that i consider the appeal of the prose i spout, that day has still yet to come. I have instead formulated a brilliant cheap trick to bolster the attention it draws without improving in any way shape or form; Quite the opposite, this might make everything a lot worse. A fellow critic of the video games, recently put out a review of a horror game, called Persistence (the game is called persistence, not the critic (would it be weird if the game reviewed the critic?)). Ever since i’ve had a persistent urge to chide, mock or otherwise condescend to what is otherwise an entirely readable article, i can’t fathom why but i find it repulsive in a manor only matched by upper middle class suburbia.

The video game persistence is one i have forgone playing because that would have necessitated having heard about it before. The article states, “a trouser ruining horror” for the most part my trousers remain unruined. The exception being the time some kid left his half chewed gum on the bus seat where my derriere found itself, hence my fictitious nickname: gummybuns.

What isn’t fictitious is the zeal with which this sticky fingered Augustus gloop boasts his hardware and supposed refinement as a critic spouting such bollocks as “for my own sanity” and “shattering hours later” even going so far as to mention he was in possession of the fabled future technology “vr” i don’t believe in it, if i sellotape a screen to my face that doesn’t make it virtual reality, all it does is make me some rotund soft brained dirge believing in a future that will NEVER COME!

I didn’t mean for this to turn into a hit piece but if you wind up staggering around a tennis court in the middle of a match it’s rude to not at least try and take a swing at the ball. Speaking of court the supposed “website?” this article is hosted on doesn’t let my copy paste sections of the article, citing a DMCA protection. This might be to protect from people stealing his work but i could have always screenshotted the piece (piss) and uploaded that, leaving everyone none the wiser. ‘Me steal his work? I couldn’t have, it’s DMCA protected,’ is what i would say in court before trying to take a swing at the ball as the umpire tackles me to the ground screaming ‘are you the pervert that trashed the local music shop last year?’

2321 character deep, i refuse to press the backspace key that many times, so i have no choice but to press on. The writer clearly has a loose if not tenuous grip of the sciences, saying “delicious stem cells, Mmm” first off Mmm isn’t a word. I tried to play it once in scrabble and my opponent told me to ‘get of the tennis court there is a match in progress.’ Second is the issue of stem cells, they’re not delicious. They taste like mushrooms, a food upsupringly grown in shit. This would be a perfect opportunity to criticise the reviewers taste in games having set up the necessary elements for a witty little one liner but unlike that morlock faced reviewer i have no reason to stoop to cheap insults.

They claim the game was scary but also say things like “that encounter was pretty hilarious” clearly they know nothing about tonal consistency. You can’t put something totally out of place in a game like that or else. 22,000 children die of poverty each day, climate change is set to disproportionately affect the impoverished and without sustained efforts to slow the rate of change and help improve their means of subsistence this figure could increase.

The author rounds out his review with a brief three liner summary of what he was saying giving little thought the greater world around him as he does. He claims that “the game is not for the faint of heart” yet it is an escape from deeper more tragic truths that plague our world. This for once isn’t his fault, the games industry blah blah blah escapism, reality. Cyber space. Ready player one is bad reference you know all this already do i need to remind you?

The game reviewed didn’t have horses, nor did the review find a way to work horses into the narrative. In this at least i can outshine because my infiltration into the tennis court took place upon an equine mount.

Age of empires 2: is nostalgia poisoning the minds of yesterdays youth?

Age of empires two (aoe2) is a pit of nostalgia for many, hours spent researching heavy plough and doing the things that game otherwise has you do. Like many of you, i didn’t actually play it when i was a kid, sorry. Instead i had an imagination and an education that gave me the, using clever words synonym, I use today to acrticate my Edea’s. Incoherent gibberish aside lets jump into the review.

Age of empires, is a game like any other game. I've not really got a lot to say so i popped a quick question to a friend asking them what their childhood experiences of the game had been like in the full knowledge that they had not played it at that time either. This fellow was however an veteran of interviews: having quite recently being interviewed on a beach my a welsh man asking him about the now cancelled swansea tidal lagoon. The interview went as follows:



Halcyon indeed sweet hypothetical manchild. There is something of a victimhood at play here for the lost children. Those that never had more than terrestrial television to tide over our supple impressionable minds, the forlorn and lost who unable to grapple ourselves to our plain and uneventful pasts are forced to live in a tumultuous present, stripped of our rose tinted spectacles we wander the desert of the real baring down on all we see with incalculable cynicism from our half-formed under stimulated monkey minds.

Note that the fellows linguistic capabilities were improved when he was a version of himself who had played aoe2 as a child. Given this was the only variable at play here, it does make for rather compelling evidence that not playing aoe2 is a source of neurocognitive decline in the development of the child's mind. While the mechanic of such an causation can only be speculated upon, it wouldn’t be all too bold if i suggested that the game beams the historical and social textures of the civilisation directly onto their comparatively softer skulls, wherein lies the brains (sorry not every here played aoe2 as a child and i want us all to be on the same page)

I know some of you are very curious about the welsh man and how he plays into the discussion, well you see the welsh aren't a playable civilisation in aoe2. There is a very good explanation for that… they’re all a bunch of… misrepresented and stereotyped people who bare the eire of their anglican neighbours and by extension their former dominon’s. That fact you were anticipating a cheap jab the welsh on my part just goes to show how pervasive the attitude is, and what low expectations you hold for the man who named his chinese city Sumtingwong.

This however hits at something larger, i unfortunately can’t ignore this grand injustice lacking as i may the advanced fold in the front of my brain needed to understand the necessity of being prejudiced against oppressed peoples. A smarter fellow might be able to explain but alas i must thrash and writhe against a system built upon a assumptive mantle of my having played Aoe2.

The game is a real time strategy. Let's talk about that name for a moment. namely the aspect denoted as “real time” what does that mean? Well it references to things happening concurrently. Which to so some degree is true or rather it was true in 1999 but here in the scifi future with new marvels such as computers, the electric toothbrush or even the Loom (haha we had that one in 1999) Nostalgia is now a player on the board, not the in game board more the bored of this extended ramble about nostalgia board, that is you’re now thinking about bored board boredly in a broad but not like a sword especially one with a nord… word.

The key point here, so muddled in tangent it required a new paragraph to actually get around to it, which now is derailing itself with an aside about it’s own necessity…

Finishing a game of aoe2 can be difficult online because sometimes one person's connection ends up making lag for the rest due to the requirement of every player being connected to every other player. This is often a source of frustration for those of us that don’t pop a prepubescent boner at the sound of villagers chopping wood. A symbolic castration that inevitably turned all the super intelligent ubermensch the game spat out into multifetished perverts. Some i have spoken to have openly expressed and interest in non missionary sex, non procreative sex and extramarital sex; which, deceitfully, is nothing to do with having multiple wives.

Speaking of multiple, this games has multiple mounted units: It’s okay in my books.

Mgs5: No not that one.

Wetwork, to some it means taking a slash on your partner(s) to others it's a life a death struggle to keep the world safe from those that would seek to do ill. I write these lines, equally wet, as i sit stewing in my own sweat after a harsh mid morning jog on what might just be the muggest day in living memory. What connects these three seemingly tangential observations? Well the run was short and bit of a pisser, short i am and so is metal gear 5: ground zeroes which would be taking the piss for the asking price if i’d not got it as part of a larger bundle; That and all three are warm, wet and a bit of a teaser.

The real trick to stealth in the same as “good” writing; hmmm... perhaps something closer to “effective” would be a better term. The word “jackhammer” seemingly plucked at random for use as a non-sequitur might actually fit closer than the other two. Word choice aside i mean to be an exponent for the most effective form of infiltration known to man; in this the modern day: two thousand eighteen anno domini. As i wet my lips to put these words forward i feel the hands of the GCHQ poised to punched my name into a watchlist. My solution: making bomb threats!

Nothing is more effective as a source of fear and confusion than an explosion. Other than shipping anyone one on a watchlist off to guantanamo bay for a light afternoon session of listening the barbie girl while a set of cracking live jump leads become firm and fast friends with your perineum. See the risks i go to for a piece of journalistic excellence like this. PM: Floaty McMay boat wouldn’t hesitate to ignore the context surrounding my assertion if it meant she could send me hurtling over the white cliffs of dover, into a waiting CIA hydroplane, to make the immigration figures look any better for the army of closet racists that have become her new powerbase.

WHY? Why the hatred for the system BVGRONTI? (rolls of the tongue, not a work in progress) well the answer is simple really. At the beginning of the game while witnessing the treatment of the prisoners in the fictional analogue of guantanamo bay (where the game is set) we are serenaded with the song “here’s to you,” a song about anarchists being put to death for crimes many believe they didn’t commit. The people who decided the state was a bad thing and ought to be abolished were really pissy when the stated decided they were a bad thing and ought to be abolished.

A strain of martyrdom makes its way into anarchist writing, praising the complexity of the men pulled into the machine of government and those the hurl themselves in after. Like those valiant souls who's arm’s become lodged in vending machine when trying to snatch a packet of cheese and onion. I’ve not yet developed a taste for that form of political whiskey but it burns my throat all the same. So what you heard a song and now you’re foaming at the mouth? No it think it’s the bombs they put in that little girls chest. Isn’t that some hackpin metaphor for adolescence? Pretty sure it isn’t.

The main crux of my outrage is that the very method i used to distract guards throughout my time roaming the bay was turned against me in the final moments of the game. I’m pretty sure the game agrees with my initial assertion. The explosion is the great leveler; Equity of man and concrete are brought about before its shattering might. it was the tool of my elevation and hence too my collapse, just like the anarchist. Either hideo kojima is a masterful storyteller or i need to reign in my pyretic tendencies.

What about the girl that got blown up?

Good point! I rate this game: better than getting teeth lodged in your skull that make you forget how to speak russian but not really.

fallout 76 will have a battle royale mode!

Woke up this morning with a real feeling of punditry on the breeze, normally i wait till later in the week to knock out one of these bad boy’s much like my pre-bed shower game; which i will not, sigh of relief, be reviewing…this week. The smart move would have been to take my bank of cashiers checks, (my little white spurts) and sit myself down in front of the electronic entertainment expo for god knows how many hours, cranking out words with my hand while i simply sink into the cringe of it all. I know some who did, but they don’t have blogs, nor do they possess the sheer indifference to reason needed to spit one of these things out. I could ask what they thought but that might give me something to write about, ruining this paragraphs implication that all i have here is a steaming pile of wank.

After a friend send me a link to the preorder for fallout 76 power armour edition retailing for about 175 pound sterling i decided that a ounce of grandstanding is in order, nothing short of total smug can be invoked for the tidal wave of cosmic level miscreance on both his part and the part of the infamous satanic figure: todd howard, who will use the revenue from said collector’s edition to fuel his industrial scale psychic hive-mind of kidnapped children to driver us ever closer to an actual nuclear apocalypse.

Such charges ought not to go unsubstantiated. In print such words could be liable, but sueing is the last thing todd howard would do. In order to sue he’d have to prove to the judge that i was wrong and that were was no hivemind of kidnapped children locked away in the basement of bethesda studios right between fallout: new vegas 2 and the smouldering puss soaked remains of Brink (2011). All things big todd would never let see the light of day. Hence i feel we are at something of an impasse, these words alone can’t stop the apocalypse but maybe they might make BIG T lose some sleep in between re-releasing skyrims.

I’m beginning to wonder if the apocalypse would be that bad, for one thing it’s most certainly mean the end of my more powerful and popular rivals platform’s, i off course would survive unlike the ninety percent of people who would die in an actual apocalypse. I’m still too naive to consider my death a given certainty and as a result i approach nightmare scenarios like some brave new world being stripped of the shackles of conventional morality so i can made so called HARD CHOICES! But then the alternative is choosing between sweet corn brands; can anyone really blame me?

With all the meaningless speculative waffle this could be loosely compared to a kotaku article, if i had actually read any and not just heard about them through cultural osmosis. So let's get back to something more real. The friend i mentioned earlier, the one you might rightfully construed as an entirely fictitious element, undermining my proposition of returning to the real but which is in actual fact a person i know. Yeah? That one? Well he preordered the game, a preorder! Blatant blasphemy in internet circles. The dam thing was barely announced a week ago and has not been subject to the least critical appraisal, unless this counts, and already he has brought copy albeit not the ‘can’t pay rent now’ edition

So what exactly has he brought into, what is it people are buying when they pre-order. It’s really quite simple. Like a gold prospector staking their claim to some wasteland marsh my friend believes here be gold. He has purchased ownership, in an age of digital distribution where there is no scarcity, so all that’s left is ownership and even that’s watered down. A rather ironic paradigm for a fallout game in which everything is scarce and their really is no strong form of legal ownership, where preorders are replaced with not knowing where the next meal comes from. He Has brought ownership of a thing with certainty, wherein there is neither. If that doesn’t make your neck spin your joints aren't quite as flexible as my own but i’m firmly of the belief that you’re all trying.

Have i read the list of features they plan to put in the game? No! When a child draws their dream castle and puts the carmel pool right next to the man eating alligators one generally pays it little serious consideration. Until the child has achieved their masters in architecture that is. At which point i would do like to do nothing more than sit down with a brew and chat alligator logistics. You can tell a gator from a croc on the basis of whether it will see you in later or in a while. How i wish that joke was the product of my own mind, true envy lays therin.

Maybe that’s just it, this half cocked slapdash scrawl, just some cheap cash in on E3 an envy fuelled ride to gawk at those uncynical enough to put their money where their mouth is for things they unambiguously want. William hague, a tory posh boy, decided the other day that the war on drugs is a bust, maybe it’s time i too conceded that the war against nothing in particular has also failed to curb the rampant elephantiasised unwieldiness of nothing in particular. Then again the steam sale are right around the corner, maybe i might find some glimmer of salvation on that sea of green.

Bioshock the many: Apolitical storytelling at it’s finest.

There are two kinds of narrative, or there could be if one took proposition A: there are two kinds of narrative, to be true; then it logically follows that there are two kinds of narrative. What are those two kinds of narrative, well we can’t know with proposition A alone so let's introduce another element quickly before i loss your attention and through analysis we might discern what those kinds of narrative are. Bioshock: infinite is a the sequel to bioshock that strips away the tight, claustrophobic and thrilling atmosphere of the first game, Set underwater; and swaps it out for a the open sky, which admittedly is much harder to make feel claustrophobic.

The game takes place in the floating city of Columbia, seemingly idyllic with it’s wholesome christian veneer; only it turns out there all a bunch of racists, who’d of guessed. I had it in my head that when i was forcibly baptised on a arrival that things could only work out well. Mistake numero uno, that’s number one for our non spanish speaking readers, they built a city in the sky Acrophobia puts one in an awfully jumpy state, ironically enough. Just when the bathophobia fleeing from the city of rapture thought they were safe, BAM! Dunked in water quick enough to make your head spin, which we will call mistake number 2.

The list goes on until one realised it’s probably okay to start gunning these people without so much as a second thought, which is when the game hands you a gun and tells you to go nuts. Gyaliaphobia is not very common, so nuts most people tend to go. So far we’ve been talking about the interactions of an individual with society but there’s more… there are characters too. That being said just because there is a thing doesn’t mean they’re particularly worth talking about; unless that lack of interest, therein, is a point i can use to sledgehammer my misgivings, which this sentence is doing while also describing its own purpose. D E E P

Cognitive dissonance aside, the game has another more interesting aspect to itself. The so called ‘infinite’ part of the title. This isn’t some cheap attempt at sequel naming you’d see from the likes of the game industries resident puss bloated sequel behemoth. They’re instead playing the ace high of all stand alone ideas that make whatever their applied to really deep and meaningful for some reason… The mindfuck multiverse. If you can hear me sigh when i say that, it’s probably you’re end, i’m not tech savvy enough to rig that up. I’ve got a real fear of technology, which makes me, you’ve guessed it, a luddite.

As Stephen king once said hypothetically in my head, “what if all my stories were one big story, that’d be sick init.” the multiverse, in scifi terms, is time travel +1. Any story that takes place across multiple independent realities is automatically a meta deconstructionist satire and can be used to hand wave or link up just about anything: Like the reappearance of the freaky power ups from bioshock. The only downside is you’ve played the highest card in the deck and so there’s not a lot one can do in terms of escalation. 

I myself, sat here with toes curled up to shield by aching feet, have been wondering just that and as i do i create two branching realities, each their own narrative both rather Geliophobic in their own rights. It’s amusing that at the time of bioshocks: infinite's release The moral choice stuff was still quite prevalent, and that in a world of infinite branching realities the game and narrative are extremely linear, except for some backtracking in both. Apart from some meaningless coin flips, which when you think about does make it rather satirical in a sense or it would were it not played straight.

Quick fire round:

Gives the feels? it’s got some spicy notes here and there.

Do things get edgy in the dlc? what a leading question! You seem to already know.

Why did you avoid major story spoilers to shield to more interesting aspects of the narrative from scrutiny, thereby ruining your ability to answer your own initial question? no one expects me to answer it plus my tautology is invincible, it proves itself.