Mgs5: No not that one.

Wetwork, to some it means taking a slash on your partner(s) to others it's a life a death struggle to keep the world safe from those that would seek to do ill. I write these lines, equally wet, as i sit stewing in my own sweat after a harsh mid morning jog on what might just be the muggest day in living memory. What connects these three seemingly tangential observations? Well the run was short and bit of a pisser, short i am and so is metal gear 5: ground zeroes which would be taking the piss for the asking price if i’d not got it as part of a larger bundle; That and all three are warm, wet and a bit of a teaser.

The real trick to stealth in the same as “good” writing; hmmm... perhaps something closer to “effective” would be a better term. The word “jackhammer” seemingly plucked at random for use as a non-sequitur might actually fit closer than the other two. Word choice aside i mean to be an exponent for the most effective form of infiltration known to man; in this the modern day: two thousand eighteen anno domini. As i wet my lips to put these words forward i feel the hands of the GCHQ poised to punched my name into a watchlist. My solution: making bomb threats!

Nothing is more effective as a source of fear and confusion than an explosion. Other than shipping anyone one on a watchlist off to guantanamo bay for a light afternoon session of listening the barbie girl while a set of cracking live jump leads become firm and fast friends with your perineum. See the risks i go to for a piece of journalistic excellence like this. PM: Floaty McMay boat wouldn’t hesitate to ignore the context surrounding my assertion if it meant she could send me hurtling over the white cliffs of dover, into a waiting CIA hydroplane, to make the immigration figures look any better for the army of closet racists that have become her new powerbase.

WHY? Why the hatred for the system BVGRONTI? (rolls of the tongue, not a work in progress) well the answer is simple really. At the beginning of the game while witnessing the treatment of the prisoners in the fictional analogue of guantanamo bay (where the game is set) we are serenaded with the song “here’s to you,” a song about anarchists being put to death for crimes many believe they didn’t commit. The people who decided the state was a bad thing and ought to be abolished were really pissy when the stated decided they were a bad thing and ought to be abolished.

A strain of martyrdom makes its way into anarchist writing, praising the complexity of the men pulled into the machine of government and those the hurl themselves in after. Like those valiant souls who's arm’s become lodged in vending machine when trying to snatch a packet of cheese and onion. I’ve not yet developed a taste for that form of political whiskey but it burns my throat all the same. So what you heard a song and now you’re foaming at the mouth? No it think it’s the bombs they put in that little girls chest. Isn’t that some hackpin metaphor for adolescence? Pretty sure it isn’t.

The main crux of my outrage is that the very method i used to distract guards throughout my time roaming the bay was turned against me in the final moments of the game. I’m pretty sure the game agrees with my initial assertion. The explosion is the great leveler; Equity of man and concrete are brought about before its shattering might. it was the tool of my elevation and hence too my collapse, just like the anarchist. Either hideo kojima is a masterful storyteller or i need to reign in my pyretic tendencies.

What about the girl that got blown up?

Good point! I rate this game: better than getting teeth lodged in your skull that make you forget how to speak russian but not really.