my second anniversary of posting nonsense

I’ve not written without caffeine for a very long time. Honestly i’m not sure how well my style will fare without the super charged effluent of pulsing impulses (nice one) running through my system. It was something closer to demonic possession than an actual process. As king says, he is the vessel through which his writing, and cocaine habit flows. In my case the source of that flow is likely a monkey with a pair of symbols.

Okay, so last year, yesterday, was the second anniversary. yes i forgot it was my anniversary of writing this shit heel blog. I mean now i have my silver play button and a cosplayer girlfriend who will corroborate the stories of my abusive and morally reprehensible ways when it comes time for my fall from grace; or that was the plan at least. Not gonna lie i started at nothing and now I am several steps backwards from there.

Maybe that’s too harsh, it’s not the destination but the friends we make along the way. As such I have decided to do a Q+A session on my subreddit. Only I don't have one, hey that itself could bare examination. Okay new idea, i am going to ask myself questions and then you’re going to read the answers and think about how charismatic and off the cuff i sound. Ready? Go:

Q: When did you decide to start soiling the internet with your filth?
A: Honestly that’s kind of a hostile question right from the off, I'd like to keep things a little friendlier ....

Oh shit i’m stealing the SOPHITICATED GAMER's format he used for the guest post he wrote the other day. He’ll probably notice but for the sake of originality I need to… keep going.

Q: when did you stop referencing whatever music you were listening to while writing when you started to run out of ideas?
A: hey don’t call me, by blondie, out on my bullshit you’re meant to be my fans, god you’re a hostile lot that’s for sure. good call back.

Q: is this really the best you have to offer after two years of biweekly blog posts.
A: well biweekly is a fairly ambiguous term so on that basis I don't think the question is valid m’kay. Not really sure what you mean by that, like twice a week or one every two weeks?

Q: do you think the pretence of accosting yourself has any inherent comedic value?
A: look who’s finally getting meta.

Q: you are?
A: indeed I am. Good question!

Q: well maybe you should address the whole garbelled English thing. Is that intentional or…
A: i’d rather not talk about it. I’m not sure if I'm dyslexic or brain damaged and at this point I don't want to know.

Q: Did you just get distracted by tinder?
A: yes, one person’s bio read “i’m the most complicated person you will ever meet,” I laughed so hard I wanted to include it in my blogpost.

Q: Are you getting to a postable length blog now?
A: yeah, time to rap it up.

Well that’s all we have time for. I am a very busy man with all those things that need doing and happening when you run a media empire like my own. All I can perhaps say is: thanks for reading, it means a lot. Aus!