CTRL ALT BREXIT

Straight up punch, big question opener: why are there no Brexit video games? I mean there’s a film in “the works” and i have no idea what the plot might be but at this point i don’t think anyone else quite does either. Probably because it’s real life and hence everything has the murky semi implied edge to it that leaves one's ability to experience something like a spoon up to the person’s willingness to trust their senses. Scaled up to something this big and it becomes a huge miasma of pulsating postulates.

The main thrust of the idea behind a video game Brexit is that all the trailers could be misleading, the devs could tell outright lies about the content, it could be a barely functional wreck and all that would do is cement it as one of the most realistic games to date.

That felt too close to being an actual joke for this format so here’s some overly long deluge of words: A friend, not a very good one, well i mean i know them well enough it’s just they’re not that good overall, pointed out the ease of satire Brexit provides and while not a profound observation, is was useful to the point where i’d acknowledge it, while also distancing myself by saying a friend said it, and not me.

Now i’ve arrived at a perfectly good place to vent my frustrations around the whole process and have a good old satirical moan. Unfortunately for my narrative structure i have a profound need to be edgy and subversive and so today we will buck the trend of using video games to vent about my political views in order to show up all those shoddy half-caked journalist stooges that there is a better way forwards. Will i be A-political? NO! Better, i will use politics to talk about my frustrations around video games.

What’s with the constant updating to Brexit AMIRIGHT, why can’t they just realise a stable version (i.e. one with horses) and leave it alone for a while. I don’t like the idea of a massive upfront bill and then having to pay more to maintain public services because our economy isn’t generating enough taxable revenue due to decreased trade. Here i term the lack of economic transactions taking place as being: micro-transactions (is this enough subtext for you, you wile ponce). Things like good education and infrastructure maintenance may seem cosmetic but the have huge impact on the experience and should be taken more seriously.

What’s with flood of political commentators, the over analysis of every move exhausts out ability to focus on what’s happening and form our own views. This is made worse by their crackly microphone and the fact they keep calling me a nazi because i wanted to remain in spawn and save the good equipment i already have for the next round. Not to mention the fact that a team leader called a break, then left when people voted for it. Shit i’ve slipped back into games and a cover for politics and not politics as a cover for video games. Just goes to show that Brexit satire is too easy to resist. The low hanging fruit that it is serves as an easy segway into a sexual harassment analogue that is both tasteless and crass.

The ease with which i wrote this is unbelievable, most the notes were scrawled on the back of a napkin in line at a coffee shop at peak rush while i had a full tonic-clonic seizure, which goes a long way to explain much of the prose herein. While not seeming like a massive deviation from my prior method this was i can assure you this took considerably less effort on my part.

I rate the hypothetical brexit video game a massive waste of time that’ll drop out of popularity super quickly once something more polished comes along like people getting fed up of using food banks or something…

PS: brexit auto corrects to brevity on my computer, if only IRL had this feature.