Is fortnite warping the minds of children?

Fortnite battle: royale. Is a JRPG with Spanish elements thrown in for that authentic south american colonial extermination experience, play as Hernán Cortés as you single handedly; with the help of a hundred smelly Spaniards, take over a naive empire by subterfuge and the abuse of trust afforded to them. All so you can turn a neat little profit on that banana republic in the late game.

Okay, that might have been a bit much for an opener, let's try to keep this all nice and gentle. Fort night: battle royal. Is a game where the rapidly increasing alienation of the french elite lead to a people uprising in Paris, which was then presided over by a shy guy who decided the best way to deal with their expensive and fancy wigs was to take a little off the top. They also turn notre dame into a rave house which when you think about it means this game had base building elements. The feature that allows you to feed your citizens with cake is conspicuously absent.

The fortnightly trip to get a royale with cheese. Is a gamemode set in cuba where by your boss, and one time about to nuke Florida guy, Fidel Castro attempts to guard his beard from the CIA while also attempting to produce the best dairy cows in the world. Unfortunately for you Cuba's climate isn’t conducive to dairy production so you’ll have to make the cows fuck until they produce a cow that can make milk.

Battle of the winter palace: October edition is a paid DLC for the the Russian revolution adding yet another revolution to the game that takes place a few months later. This time you play as a well educated man who’s been reading this cool new fantasy book called das kapital and wants to see if he could crowdfund Minas Tirith IRL but watch out your allies are probably going to try and icepick each other after your dead so don’t, whatever you do, create an authoritarian cult of personality that your successor can exploit to give everyone else in game GU latency issues.

fort nite: battle at sea. Is a Chinese mini game where; while failing to capture a bunch of pirates lead by a former prostitute, who knows her way around an oar better than most sailors, aye; your British allies suddenly realise that you’re not very good at dealing with the boats attacking your long and extended coastline. you point out what a fine navy they have as they sail their ships up to said poorly defended coast and they agree, it is a very nice set of boats. ‘You know what else is nice’ they ask while handing you a opium pipe…

The Armenian genocide is, No, No; NO! we are not going there. This has gone far enough, you’ve proven to everyone you’re very edgy and have too much time on your hands to learn all this shit. This is very very silly. Normal programming will now resume.

Fortnite: battle royale is a colourful and exciting free to play video game to help that takes social darwinism to its second most brutal extreme. The first being the appropriation of large scale germanic industrial frameworks to facilitate the mass… Are you trying to make a point here? Fortnite is benign and popular with children, easy to lampoon for it’s prominence and low bar to entry. Do these references add anything of value to review?

No, but i’ve gone and tricked people into thinking about history with, what is essentially a shitpost. April fools.