Quick question: who would you rather play as? a time travelling cyborg cop with amnesia whose wife has been murdered and he must seek vengeance. Or play as some dude with a hat, not even a particularly good one. Game devs face decisions like this everyday or they would if the corporate overlords would let them. Ever since the original board game clue was invented people has struggled with weaving compelling narratives into their games without someone yelling ‘ludo-narrative dissonance’ at them. The only dissonance here is my having to google what the words means, which i clearly haven’t done. Is that meant to be the dissonance? I actually don’t know.
A Popular choice is the silent protagonist. People always remember characters like James (SH2) and the other ones with fond feelings and pyramid head am i right? Yes. Rhetorical devices aside i think it’s time i tackle half life 2. Back before you were born valve made games. History lessons aside, the game has you play a Gordon Freeman a dude who has made some questionable choices in his back story and must face them by going to the town of silent hill. Allusions to earlier jokes aside.
Yeah i’m struggling with this one, i mean what do i say. Reviewing is really hard. How can i talk about a game that i haven’t played since july of 2012. If i logged on now would Gordon have started a family with Barney? Do they allow for gay marriage in the half life world? Would not allowing it be enough to stop mr freeman and mr freeman from entering into loving matrimony also is that what the G in G-man stands for? I have so many questions and it’s not even installed, okay that's a lie but i’m still not going to play it. You see for as long as i don’t, the possibilities are infinite and no reality can ever match the unspoiled potential of infinite possibilities, which is why i am pro-abortion.
Me and father grigori never saw eye to eye. Until i flung a saw at his eye then he dropped some ammo but completely gave up on giving me spiritual advice. Kleiner and i used to go down the local strip club and spread around the fake dollar bills he cooked up in the lab. It was such a sweet and simple time, you too probably have fun memories that’d form the ideal basis for a thirty minute sitcom format and after all isn’t that what half life was really about?
Did they ever explain the thing about the antlions or were we just meant to not really give a dam. I mean the models were cool and all but it just this one underling thing that stops the series from feeling complete to me, it's a glaring hole now that i think about it. There's so much that hinges on it and it’s just left unanswered. It's a huge cliff hanger that is begging for something to tie it neatly up. WHATS UP WITH THE ANTLIONS VALVE? WHY WON’T YOU TELL US, WHAT ARE YOU HIDING BEHIND THAT STORE FRONT?
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