Fallout of bed and hit your head on the bin 4: you'll never believe what happens next?

I like to play the waiting game, with games. All things tend towards disorder; the only meaningful mark on a cosmic scale between today and yesterday is that today the universe is just a little bit less together than it was the day before. All things die, from stars in the sky to that i love you too lie.
This seems on the surface to be a fundamentally nihilistic proposition, that is until one remembers steam and humble therein games generally go on sale from lower and lower prices the longer one waits. Like the price drop tv of it’s time, steam tempts the plebs with it’s discounts only to reward the high IQ, (mental elo) buff that know to hold out for that sweet nectar: the 75% discount.

So what happened? Where is this going? And why are you saying all this? Well if you’d stop asking questions I'd very much like to get to that but it’s kinda hard when I have to defend myself from an onslaught of gun jumping.

Fallout four, not the fourth one but whatever, recently slipped below a tenner for the game + da DLC’s. This boy, full of greedy mirth, brought it and then spent the next three days downloading the girthy 30 gigs of effluent straight unto the hard drive. So in short, I have the game; suppose I could have just said that from the off but I'm not one to ever edit my/shaun’s ‘work’ (full stop here)

So the game itself, well to start with I was lukewarm, which isn’t typical for a nuclear firestorm but alas. My feeling on new vegas are that of any hand cranking fanboy and naturally like any true gamer i’ve never managed to get into the original two but hear they are very good. I know that at the beginning of the game, the bombs are due to drop any minute and with this meta-fictional knowledge in mind i wanted to avert their entire timeline by getting caught in the blast.

First off no matter how hard I tried the vault tec salesman wouldn’t leave me be, i wanted to die dammit. Eventually my spouse filled in the forms for me by exercising his patriarchal privilege to veto my autonomy, seconds later i was forced to march my way up to the vaults despite trying to catch a wave of thermonuclear scorching hate to practice my body boarding.

I don't like being railroaded and forced to play nice so when I emerged from the vault a some time later I began my journey dropping steamy hot sass on anyone dim enough to try and engage me in conversation. Showed the minutemen how sassy i was by putting a 10mm round in one of their guts via misclick. Truly, an epic gamer moment.

After that I slid into the game proper or rather the side quests, which are rather fun and vaguely retro camp in tone. I spent an hour mucking about on a robot crewed pirate ship only for it to launch itself into an adjacent building; where the jet fuel didn’t melt the beams and the first responders were a horde of feral ghouls. I ran around pretending to be a hard boiled super hero talking like i straight out of a 1950’s comic strip and it was wonderful.

I found this to be where the game was strongest, it’s not laugh out loud funny but manages to be humorous without crossing over into the classic video game pitfall of trying too hard. I think the word i’m looking for here is “fun” but you can’t call something fun and be a serious hard hitting video games journalist, an eight year old can call something fun and get away with it but after that everyone just assumes you’re mental if you can summarise a ‘text’ as fun.

The main quest-line by contrast is deadly serious and oh so emotional! I really don’t care for it. I much prefer laughing away my thermonuclear sorrows in a series of wacky yet cathartic adventures. That is somewhat the joy of sandbox game, i have though my own choice of when and where to interact managed to create my own narrative aside from that of the main games, one I find far more compelling.

So i there anything to be said for gameplay? NO. next.
Just kidding, gunplay yes. Base Building if you like. crafting, yeah it’s kind of alright.

Overall the game quickly became of haze of roaming around and questing, it’s a big game and an even bigger time sink, the hands of the clock turn awful fast while playing. This might be a sign that the game is “fun” or has “engaged me” but to that I say poppycock. I cannot be drawn in by the lure of video games that aren't mind bendingly complex. I mean it’s just drivel, pure and simple it’s the dumbing down of mass media and the corruption of the once ideal state of gaming and… oh god it’s getting to me? I can’t be trusted. I may yet be an unknown harbinger of their mad ideals, Or not, can’t be sure.

Not sure where I was going with that but oh well. So have i managed to go over the game without mentioning any significant plot details other than the nukes? Am i just expecting people to know via cultural osmosis or wikipedia? I mean given how long the game had been out and the widespread exposure the franchise has gotten, I'm going to go ahead a slap a firm yes on those questions.

In summary I give the game Fallout 4/ however many games there have been in the franchise.